like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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