Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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