Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i believe in u and ur pee
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