there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize