the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
