And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
