You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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