pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
