Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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