Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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