I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
