I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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