you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
