Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Will you blow on my dice?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
