She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
