I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
