Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
