So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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