took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
