im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
and you fell through a lawn chair
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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