Umm I'm too high to move.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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