The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
