She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we're so committed to being not committed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
