That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
