I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize