I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
