Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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