So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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