Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
