my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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