I forgot how hot balto sounded
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize