I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
