What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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