i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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