so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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