Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize