so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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