he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I touched a dick in church today
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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