Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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