everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
