the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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