I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
