it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
