drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize