i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
