Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
