i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
