This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
