We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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