Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
