DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
