i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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