hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
