She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
