oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
