Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
