Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
