he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
