my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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