There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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