the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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