omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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