Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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