i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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