I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
