How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
