I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
