hotel room ftw
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
