Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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