i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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